METH, ORPHANS, AND OTHER GOVERNMENTAL AFFAIRS
Once again today I am reminded of how truly interesting our government is. Now I don’t want to sound all conspiracay theory here [ that is largely a thing from my past] but I have been amazed – I mean really amazed – by a couple of the reports I have read recently.
1] The Combat Meth Act
Okay. I lived in Iowa for he past three and a half years. Meth is right popular in that state – I guess it is Meth or watching the soybeans grow, though I generally found reading as many books as humanly possible helped minimize the ill-effects of Iowa. I am all for anything limiting the use of Meth; if you are going to use at least use a real drug. I can even deal with the annoyance of having to register to buy my allergy medication [I don’t know if you have to in your state, but you will].
What bothers me is that the exciting new Combat Meth Act is going to be part of our old friend the Patriot Act. From what I can gather Meth really isn’t high on the terrorists’ priority list. But alas the Patriot Act will in fact be the clearinghouse for law enforcement legislation. If you want to pass it put it in the Patriot Act. If they don’t vote for it they obviously hate America.
Finally, one would assume the Senate has some really bright folks – if not the Senators themselves, at least some of the staffers. So… couldn’t someone come up with a better name for this one? I mean… The Combat Meth Act… What’s next? The Skirmish Against Small Objects That Could Get Lodged in your Throat if Used Improperly???
Wait… I know what it is…
2] It’s the Test Your Pesticides on the Orphans and Disabled Children Act. I am not kidding about this one. The wife handed me her Sierra Club magazine last night and there it was, under the title “EPA Versus Orphans.”
"Last year, public outcry forced the EPA to withdraw its plan to pay families to serve as human guinea pigs for pesticide studies. But instead of drafting an ethical proposal for human experimentation, the agency came up with new language that would allow testing on orphans and mentally handicapped children, accept chemical studies done on kids outside the United States, and make possible the use of prisoners as test subjects."
You can just go ahead and Google “EPA and Orphans” and it's all over the place.
“Please sir, might I have some more?” Chemically laden gruel that is. Mmmmm… Pesticides.
Or finally…
3] Anna Nicole goes to the Supreme Court.
Okay… I get it. It’s a property dispute, but does this really need to go to the Supreme Court? Further, once you have been seen wallowing on the ground covered in pudding or some-such don’t you give up your visitor's pass to the highest court in the land? Do they even allow you into the Supreme Court with an Ice Cream sandwich?
Oh wait… This is really just a lead up to The Snub Anna Nicole Act of 2007.
1] The Combat Meth Act
Okay. I lived in Iowa for he past three and a half years. Meth is right popular in that state – I guess it is Meth or watching the soybeans grow, though I generally found reading as many books as humanly possible helped minimize the ill-effects of Iowa. I am all for anything limiting the use of Meth; if you are going to use at least use a real drug. I can even deal with the annoyance of having to register to buy my allergy medication [I don’t know if you have to in your state, but you will].
What bothers me is that the exciting new Combat Meth Act is going to be part of our old friend the Patriot Act. From what I can gather Meth really isn’t high on the terrorists’ priority list. But alas the Patriot Act will in fact be the clearinghouse for law enforcement legislation. If you want to pass it put it in the Patriot Act. If they don’t vote for it they obviously hate America.
Finally, one would assume the Senate has some really bright folks – if not the Senators themselves, at least some of the staffers. So… couldn’t someone come up with a better name for this one? I mean… The Combat Meth Act… What’s next? The Skirmish Against Small Objects That Could Get Lodged in your Throat if Used Improperly???
Wait… I know what it is… 2] It’s the Test Your Pesticides on the Orphans and Disabled Children Act. I am not kidding about this one. The wife handed me her Sierra Club magazine last night and there it was, under the title “EPA Versus Orphans.”
"Last year, public outcry forced the EPA to withdraw its plan to pay families to serve as human guinea pigs for pesticide studies. But instead of drafting an ethical proposal for human experimentation, the agency came up with new language that would allow testing on orphans and mentally handicapped children, accept chemical studies done on kids outside the United States, and make possible the use of prisoners as test subjects."
You can just go ahead and Google “EPA and Orphans” and it's all over the place.
“Please sir, might I have some more?” Chemically laden gruel that is. Mmmmm… Pesticides.
Or finally…3] Anna Nicole goes to the Supreme Court.
Okay… I get it. It’s a property dispute, but does this really need to go to the Supreme Court? Further, once you have been seen wallowing on the ground covered in pudding or some-such don’t you give up your visitor's pass to the highest court in the land? Do they even allow you into the Supreme Court with an Ice Cream sandwich?
Oh wait… This is really just a lead up to The Snub Anna Nicole Act of 2007.
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