OF THE MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THE WORLD:
AS EXPLICATED THROUGH REFERENCE TO THE WRITINGS
OF AN ANONYMOUS COMMENTER
What follows is the complete text of said comment, my seminal text let us say, upon which I shall attempt to foster a diagnosis of some of those many things wrong with the world:
you are retarded. you are ason of a bitch
1] The world is lazy.
While all of us have at one time or another – I for one am certainly guilty of this – fallen prey to the dreaded typo, one should be, I would hope, able to expect more care and concern when a writer’s message is as brief as this, especially one to which the author seems so profoundly committed. It is just this sort of apathy that is currently plaguing the world. If only – and I do so wish – the world could lift itself from just this sort of lethargy, god only knows what we might be able to collectively accomplish, but alas, Anonymous remains all too typical of this larger societal woe, or at the very least unwilling to avail him- or herself of a quick spellcheck.
2] The world is far too prone to leap to make assumptions.
How does this commenter know whether his or her subject’s mother is or is not a bitch? Putting aside the question of whether this is a polite thing to say, this seems a rather large assumption to make. Has Anonymous done any particular research into his or her subject’s parentage, specifically the life and habits of the subject’s maternal progenitor? Far too often the world follows along with Anonymous on this path of rash conjecture – remember those WMD’s?
3] The world does a poor job at correlating evidence and opinion.
Assumedly the subject of this text would never claim to be the smartest person on the planet, or at least hardly ever, but this text seems to have a problem with relating available evidence with the assertions made. Based upon the subject’s surrounding writings and other works, the subject appears to have displayed at the minimum an average degree of mental development. Perhaps Anonymous has simply utilized an ill-chosen word, which would bring us back to point #1, but it seems more likely that the material evidence at hand has not been carefully considered, processed and utilized in coming to and thus presenting the conclusions that have been so emphatically pronounced.
4] The world is astonishingly bad at producing meaningful argument.
Beyond the problems of assumption – point #2 – and the seeming lack of regard for the evidentiary process – point #3 – this text seems an exemplar of the world’s propensity for eschewing any attempt at significant critique. Anonymous perhaps studied at the same school of rhetoric as our president, in which it is apparently taught that rhetorical vehemence is the equal of consequential criticism. This text lacks, as do so many of the statements the world produces, the word “because.” This text would perhaps be more compelling if its readers were given explanations for why the author feels that his or her subject is deemed to be “retarded,” or if some line of reasoning were offered for the conclusion that the subject is “ason of a bitch,” then we would have an actual argument to deal with, one that could be discussed or debated upon its merits, perhaps leading to a greater understanding of the subject at hand.
5] The world, oftentimes, is simply mean.
It may be argued that this final point is the most significant, or, conversely, that it is a relatively minor issue compared to the previous concerns, but that remains outside of the scope of this current study. What I will say is that, based on the deficiencies in the text with regard to points #2, #3, and #4 this text seems to stand as instance of the world’s tendency to be mean. Critique, satire, even caustic opprobrium are certainly valid, but here, like much of the world, we seem to be left with few interpretive possibilities other than that of mean intent, and alas there is all too much of that. Why would the author call his or her subject “retarded?” Why should the author refer to the subject’s mother as a “bitch?” Since there is no real argument for these positions, nor is any significant evidence offered, we must be, unfortunately, left with no other resolution than that the author, much like the world itself, is, well, mean.
Hence, we see the world: lazy and mean, rash and assumptive. Therefore I beg of you, dear readers, to do your part to improve the world and avoid these all too common pitfalls. Do not follow the path that led to a war in Iraq, that produces homophobic legislation, that fosters callous disregard for those others around us, and that spawns such ill-formed writing as this now immortalized communiqué.