TODAY I RAMBLE

This morning, while eating a nice breakfast of pancakes, omelet, and soysage with the wife, I noticed this sticker on the lid of one of our large storage containers. I have spent the much of the rest of today frightened: frightened by the paucity of our visual vocabulary, frightened by state of visual activity in popular communication. Fear seems to have become a recurrent motif in my writing as of late, but on this front there seems to be good reason. Apparently one should not place one’s shadow baby inside of a storage container and close the lid. I would have thought that to be a good idea; aren’t we supposed to be afraid of the shadow babies – that is what George Noory has been telling me at least. Oh… You don’t know George Noory? You should. Late Night Coast To Coast is perhaps the best thing to ever happen to radio. If you want to find out about vampires, aliens, conspiracy theories, andglobal warming all in one night, just give this show a listen. Speaking of global warming – polar bears are now on the endangered species list. Doesn’t the world know that only ugly animals are allowed to die off? Surely god – or whatever – has made a mistake if he is trying to get rid of the polar bears – isn’t god – or whatever – controlling the melting of the ice caps, because surely it has nothing to do with science. Oh. Wait. You don’t know about science? You never learned about that in school? Get ready for the next round of elections kids, I am sure we will be debating evolution yet again. I hope the Supreme court is ready… Oh dear god – or whatever – the Supreme Court… Will they be done with the landmark Anna Nicole Smith case by then? Speaking of that, I was quoted on Newsweek’s blog watch apparently. There is yet another thing for me to be frightened of: if I am going to be cited by the legitimate press the world is truly in trouble. Further, the new favorite way to get to this blog seems to be my opinions on Spanx. Granted Sara Blakely is problematic, but I wouldn't trust me on evaluating the holding power of her products.And anyway, I think McDonald’s new campaign – the I Am Asian series – has surpassed Spanx by a long stretch. The site is bad enough, but the TV commercial in which stereotyped African-American women adopt a series of stereotypes of Asian culture may pack in more offensiveness per square second than I would have ever thought possible. But then again, it is McDonald’s. Though the big question in advertising land concerns what Walmart is going to do to replace their trademark Smiley Face. I am having difficulty imagining anything more insipid than the smiley face that covers the faces of all the sweat-shop laborers. Actually, I think I should get a job as a Walmart greeter – for those few brief moments before they ran me off I could warn all those entering to flee with their souls still in tact. Then, perhaps I could flap my arms about and run in circles to scare off those entering – if even just briefly – as store security dragged me away. These are the sorts of things I think about doing. Perhaps my artistic practice should move towards soul-saving acts of lunacy in the corporate domain. What would you do if you walked into a Starbucks and found me rocking back and forth counting coffee beans singing softly to myself: “I like coffee beans, but not their coffee beans, ‘cause I don’t like any evil coffee beans.” If I could save just one soul – perhaps it would be worth it. Though, now that I think of it, as far as I remember I don’t believe in souls: at least not the god-given – or whatever – kind. I still don’t have a great grip on the whole mind/brain thing, but that doesn’t bother me too much, despite the difficulties it produces in the whole premise of I. Speaking of I, though, I have actually had Bad Brains’ I Against I running through my mind/brain/ head for much of the day. If you don’t know it, you should check it out: it is an absolute classic. I saw Bad Brains back in Detroit in 1990 or 1991, I can’t remember which, but 24/7 Spyz opened up for them. It was a hell of a show. I kinda miss St. Andrews Hall in Detroit – that was where the good shows came. It has been far too long since I have lived in a place that had decent shows. But then again, now that I am growing old I would probably be too tired to go to any shows anymore. Speaking of tired, I am already getting there for this evening and I have probably rambled any potential readers into boredom – or at least hurt their eyes since this is one giant paragraph [at least it isn’t a monumental Joycean sentence. Thank god – or whatever – for small favors. Though I do wish I had a pancake or two left over for a snack before heading off to bed. I like pancakes. A lot.