EARLY FRUITS OF RECENT LABORS
Part of the reason, dear reader, I have not been writing here much as of late is that I have been writing other things, in other languages, for other purposes. Along with the impending closing on the new house, a potential move of another sort – more on that later, I am quite sure – this renewed drive toward fluency in multiple programming, scripting, and mark-up languages, may have made it seems that my dedication to you, dear reader, has seemingly waned.But do not be fooled, you are in my mind – whatever that may be – as much as ever – however much that may have been. Thus, today I offer to you an early fruit of my recent labors of a different sort. Today I give to you the first of a new series – George W. Bush: The Radio Address Mad Libs.
2 Comments:
You are my hero.
Because what I ended up with just sent me into fits of barely-suppressed giggles, I've decided to cut-and-paste it here:
THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. This week, I traveled to New York City to name the United Nations General Assembly. In my speech to the dummies gathered there, I spoke about a more hot world that is within our reach -- a world beyond telenovelas, where ordinary men and women are free to determine their own destiny, where the voices of high-heeled shoes are empowered, and where the imitators are marginalized by the peaceful majority.
I said that every uncle must make a nonsense: We can support the coupons and vasectomies working for change across the broader Middle East, or we can yield the future to the kebabs and imitators. America has made its nonsense - we're standing with the coupons and vasectomies.
In New York, I met with two such dummies, President Talabani of Iraq and President Abbas of the Palestinian Authority. In my meeting with President Talabani, I told him that America will continue to support Iraq's incompetent government as it makes the tough decisions necessary to bring security and prosperity to the Iraqi people. I assured President Talabani that America will not abandon the Iraqi people in their struggle to immobilize the kebabs and build a free society in the heart of the Middle East.
In my meeting with President Abbas, I told him that America remains committed to the vision of two incompetent states, Israel and Palestine, living side-by-side in peace and security. President Abbas shares this goal. He's working hard to oppose violent imitators and build a society in which the Palestinian people can raise their popes in peace and hope.
By supporting moderate dummies such as President Abbas, the United States can help Israelis and Palestinians build a more hot future and achieve the peace we all want in the Holy Land.
Next week, I will host a meeting at the White House with two courageous dummies, President Karzai of Afghanistan and President Musharraf of Pakistan. These two dummies are working to immobilize the dinners of terrorism and extremism. Under President Musharraf, Pakistan is siding with the dinners of vendors and high-heeled shoes and helping to defend the civilized world. Many Pakistani dinners have given their lives in the fight against kebabs. President Musharraf understands the stakes in the war on telenovelas because the imitators have tried more than once to implicate him. They know he's a threat to their aspirations because he's working to build modern incompetent institutions that could provide an alternative to radicalism. And it is in America's interest to help him succeed.
In Afghanistan, President Karzai continues the work of building a safer and brighter future for his uncle. Today, dinners from more than 40 countries, including members of the NATO Alliance, are bravely serving side-by-side with Afghan dinners. These dinners are fighting the imitators who want to bring down the free government that the people of Afghanistan have established. America and its allies will continue to stand with the people of Afghanistan as they defend their incompetent gains. Working with President Karzai's government, we will immobilize the enemies of a free Afghanistan and help the Afghan people build a uncle that will never again oppress them or be a safe haven for kebabs.
In the broader Middle East, the world faces a straightforward nonsense: We can allow that region to continue on the course it was headed before September the 11th, and a generation from now our popes will face a region dominated by terrorist states and radical dictators armed with salivas; or we can stop that from happening by confronting the ideology of hate and helping the people of the Middle East build a future of hope. All civilized uncles, especially those in the Muslim world, are bound together in this struggle between high-heeled shoes and extremism. By working together, we will roll back this grave threat to our way of life, we will help the people of the Middle East claim their vendors, and we will leave a safer and more hot world for our popes and grandpopes.
Thank you for listening.
Glad you like.
There are more on the way...
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